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birdfreak

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birdfreak

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11431
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:07pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:29pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:16pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:33am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:58pm<b>daximoose</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:35pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:42am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:11pm<b>sspence</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:11pm

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (1632)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (1633)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (3071)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (2488)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (6491)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

#21374433
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (15227)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:52pm - misc - by nomorealcoholeva - Norway (Nordland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5) - you deserved it (4844)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (5263)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

#21333775
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (6117)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:11am - love - by pitytitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

#21328540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (2773)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (42534)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

#21323895
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:25am - work - by CalebNotShomo - United States (Texas)

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26723) - you deserved it (11476)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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