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billyjoebob1122

Offline (the 04/01/2014 at 8:41pm) | Search for a member

billyjoebob1122

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  • Number of visits : 132
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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billyjoebob1122's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51292) - you deserved it (5714)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42757) - you deserved it (9094)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50261) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57743) - you deserved it (6943)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

#21166210
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (13789)

On 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm - work - by fstfckd (man) - United States

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (9586)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48774) - you deserved it (5403)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

#21158441
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52760) - you deserved it (7410)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:30pm - kids - by idiot says "you raised him" (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (4921)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48014) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (6763)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML

#21150394
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43780) - you deserved it (5624)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by thankssiren (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (3566)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland



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