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biduu's favorite FMLs
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
by I'maboutobarf / 01/31/2013 at 5:28am / Australia / Health
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids
by nomegusta / 01/05/2013 at 10:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by kblevss / 01/05/2013 at 4:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by bureaucratic assfuckery / 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
by ghost? / 12/16/2012 at 3:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, i got up and got ready for work at 6am, having not gone to bed until 2. When i got to work,… Today, I was at a group event and my crush was there. I had a raging boner and she could tell, she… Today, while in a CROWDED restaurant, my mother asked my grandfather what he was going in to order.…