bettyxoxo

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Offline (the 01/09/2016 at 11:32pm)

bettyxoxo

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2620
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bettyxoxo : garlic bread enthusiast

bettyxoxo's page activity

Visits<b>What2D0</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:34pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:34pm<b>horsedaz96</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:28pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:20am<b>kylie128</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:51am<b>hare</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:20am<b>rach0545</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 4:52am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 3:03am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 1:40am<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:56am<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:51am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 9:09pm<b>zBerryz</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:35pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 4:18pm<b>victoria63</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:39pm<b>elliehanold</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:30pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 12:17pm<b>ruahogfan2</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:17am

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 7:40am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:21am

bettyxoxo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of bettyxoxo's badges

bettyxoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

by I'm screwed / 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

by whovian / 12/25/2014 at 10:17am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2014 at 6:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

by blech / 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

by poor man / 11/26/2014 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Money