About bettyboop428 : Newly divorced. Have a beautiful daughter who is my life. Love to work, drink, read a book, watch some tv, and swim.
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bettyboop428's favorite FMLs
by Sniffles / 04/26/2014 at 8:28am / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML
by kris / 04/25/2014 at 11:40am / United States (California) / Work
Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
by kelly.duggan / 04/21/2014 at 12:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Love
Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML
by reb / 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML
by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by tinytiny1124 / 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
by princess / 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids
- Today, my daughter came to me holding her brand new iPad, crying. I asked her what was wrong, and… Today, my cross-country flight was delayed for an hour. When I finally boarded, I found out that my… Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full…