About bettyboop428 : Newly divorced. Have a beautiful daughter who is my life. Love to work, drink, read a book, watch some tv, and swim.
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bettyboop428's favorite FMLs
by Potforapeso / 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML
by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work
by HeIsKindaRightTho / 09/16/2014 at 12:31am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML
by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
by uppiskalle / 09/12/2014 at 10:32am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation
by healthfreak / 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by anon / 08/31/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML
by Anonymous / 08/30/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML
by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids
Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML
by LolKaleb / 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm / Latvia (Riga) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear,… Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what… Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I…