bernielove89

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bernielove89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1302
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About bernielove89 : I'm awesome. The end.

bernielove89's page activity

Visits<b>deftones</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:23am<b>fabcade</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:13pm<b>miguelghs</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>bryan788</b> - the 10/10/2012 at 7:00pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:48pm<b>SamLiveFree_77</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 11:37pm<b>Titine</b> - the 01/18/2012 at 3:47am<b>durisnonfrangor</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 9:45pm<b>stupidparkedcar</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 11:33am<b>cristianab</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 12:56pm<b>Turdferguson88</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 9:28am<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 01/03/2012 at 8:26pm

bernielove89's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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bernielove89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2012 at 10:30pm / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

by Gemma / 01/06/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

by mark / 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

by foreveralonecatlady / 12/28/2011 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Intimacy

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy