benhd1

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benhd1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6087
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About benhd1 : Hi!
My name's Ben Howard, I like knitting, unicorns and long walks along moonlit beaches. In fact, I once saw a unicorn while walking along the beach at midnight, which I then stabbed with my knitting needle.
My sense of humour often offends people. I'm sorry I didn't know your seventh cousin twice removed has Tourette's syndrome, and frankly I'll work right on learning every little detail about you, stranger, so as not to offend little old you. And thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to come up to me on the street and interrupt my private conversation.

benhd1's page activity

Visits<b>Kitcat1234</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:25pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 5:52am<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:09pm<b>tisvana18</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 12:34am<b>AyeMentalJam</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 7:22am<b>dylanj0119</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:46pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:17pm<b>TheKasox</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:28pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:29am<b>mind_geek</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 10:16am<b>llalala</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:58am<b>Gemma_Mansonite</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:44am<b>guskta</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:20pm<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:21pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:20pm

benhd1's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of benhd1's badges

benhd1's favorite FMLs

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

by markderanjer / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 3:54am / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

by orgasmsareoverratedanyway / 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm / Norway (Nordland) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy