bende

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 9:21pm)

bende

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 661
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bende's page activity

Visits<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 2:19am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 6:02am<b>lena808</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 6:00am<b>lovesings</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 1:33pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 2:09am<b>sarah_grace_baby</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:52pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 7:11pm<b>oj101</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:51am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 12:16am<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 9:25pm

bende's FML badges

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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bende's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my car keys are in my house and my house keys are in my car, and I'm in neither. FML

by Argh / 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 10:54am / France / Love

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids