bella_schafer

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Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 7:56am)

bella_schafer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1044
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About bella_schafer : If I'm on here, I'm probably pretty bored..so message me!

bella_schafer's page activity

Visits<b>dresnick</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:44pm<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:29am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:40am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:24pm<b>kjblack</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:09pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 10:44am<b>ForeverACloneee</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 9:18am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:02am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:00am<b>olpally</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 12:08am<b>M4roy</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:11pm<b>duckwhacker</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:44pm<b>frostypinetree</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:18pm

bella_schafer's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of bella_schafer's badges

bella_schafer's favorite FMLs

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

by his word vs mine = me suspended / 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Work

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

by fml / 08/10/2013 at 6:48am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm / Switzerland / Health

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

by hunchback of notre bite / 08/09/2013 at 6:23pm / Korea, Republic of / Intimacy

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

by fired / 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm / Work

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! / 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

by whyyjustwhy / 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Intimacy