believe_alanis

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believe_alanis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About believe_alanis : Loving My Life :)

believe_alanis's page activity

Visits<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:55pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:54pm<b>oracle96</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:15pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:43pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:13pm<b>floatingpandas</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:30pm<b>fmleveryday1135</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:11am<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:07pm

believe_alanis's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of believe_alanis's badges

believe_alanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" Um, what? FML

by wtf / 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

by bex / 01/07/2009 at 10:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

by maaaryy / 01/07/2009 at 12:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

by sly / 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Kids

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

by gabess / 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

by / 01/03/2009 at 11:48am / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

by sm@rtie / 01/03/2009 at 3:38am / Miscellaneous

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

by noname / 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm / Kids

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

by mc / 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

by jamjamy / 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm / Work

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

by LDF / 12/25/2008 at 5:30am / Transportation

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

by Dope / 12/24/2008 at 6:23am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

by zazadudu / 12/23/2008 at 1:47am / Love

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

by Phil / 12/21/2008 at 7:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

by Kikinovak / 12/13/2008 at 7:06am / Transportation