believe_alanis

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believe_alanis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About believe_alanis : Loving My Life :)

believe_alanis's page activity

Visits<b>shabadabba</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:54pm<b>oracle96</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 6:15pm<b>swick25</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 6:20pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 6:43pm<b>sexysaltshaker</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:13pm<b>floatingpandas</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:30pm<b>fmleveryday1135</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 11:11am<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 6:07pm

believe_alanis's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of believe_alanis's badges

believe_alanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

by disgusted / 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

by dearbailee / 09/18/2012 at 10:04am / United States / Transportation

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

by thanksfamily / 09/18/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

by wtf yourself, cunt / 09/17/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

by redjesus69 / 02/02/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

by Ad-s / 01/14/2009 at 12:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

by dannij08 / 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous