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beaniebabe
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  • Number of visits : 2877
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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beaniebabe's favorite FMLs

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

#4445744
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11496) - you deserved it (37938)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44691) - you deserved it (6832)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

#3531559
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6578) - you deserved it (72986)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60605) - you deserved it (15312)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (42429)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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