Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/15/2015 at 3:34am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 November 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5006
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About beaglegal : Youtube, Archer, Supernatural and Sherlock. And dogs. And video games. And Reddit. That's about it.
Benedict Cumberbatch is one of my favorite people alive.
I have 3 beagles named Prince, Princess and Daisy. It's pretty obvious that I love dogs :)

beaglegal's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 11:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:45am<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 1:19am<b>3051628</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 7:43am<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:28pm<b>kovalsky</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Riley052402</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:30am<b>guskta</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:19am<b>TheMAGICMANIAC</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:26pm<b>skyraiderj5</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 4:16pm<b>sosogross</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:45am<b>zoyii</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:54pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm<b>lukian</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 9:04pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:12pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:36pm

Fucked!<b>One_Way</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:01am<b>3051628</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:45pm<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 1:27am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:36am<b>pks2014</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:51am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:52pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:39pm<b>phaelnb</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:34pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:56pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:16pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:28am<b>jbe1091</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 12:44am<b>youngmuller1</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:32am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:43am<b>PITSB</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 6:00am<b>uglytoenails</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:01am<b>jimmysixx</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:27am

beaglegal's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of beaglegal's badges

beaglegal's favorite FMLs

Today, after weeks of searching, I finally found the wedding dress of my dreams. Too bad it was in the form of a download for The Sims. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (3417)

On 09/29/2015 at 10:58am - misc - by Anna (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (2939)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (4052)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked outside to get the paper, and saw a dying bird I assumed had flown into the window. It was warm so I thought it might still be alive. I wasn't wearing my glasses though, and was trying to nurse a dog turd back to life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (10461)

On 06/04/2015 at 10:17pm - animals - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (2810)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (11483)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by ohno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24732) - you deserved it (34977)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (2653)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (7887)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (2743)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (6972)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/03/2014 at 7:29am - work - by whydoidothis (woman) - United Kingdom

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: