Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bbambastic

Offline (the 03/09/2015 at 5:50am) | Search for a member

bbambastic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 372
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bbambastic's page activity

Visits<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:24am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:25am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:35pm<b>loooloool</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:06am<b>atl904</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 8:59am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:47pm<b>Lazywildbone</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:56am<b>vb68</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 7:30pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:42pm<b>joeys35</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:20pm<b>suplarai</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:22am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 11:30pm<b>Flavorofbrian</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:58am<b>hprakash</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:09pm<b>Schaus</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 5:07pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 9:46am<b>lickastick</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 7:14am

bbambastic's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of bbambastic's badges

bbambastic's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (2343)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

#21076525
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (3228)

On 03/03/2014 at 1:12am - misc - by get me out of this house! (woman) - United States

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43381) - you deserved it (3666)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50775) - you deserved it (8690)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42667) - you deserved it (6536)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (4785)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67759) - you deserved it (4000)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49358) - you deserved it (4667)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60575) - you deserved it (3029)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56744) - you deserved it (6189)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (12273)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51321) - you deserved it (8064)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84282) - you deserved it (20472)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: