Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bayleebug316

Offline (the 08/30/2014 at 2:26am) | Search for a member

bayleebug316

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 945
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About bayleebug316 : 15 Montanan

bayleebug316's page activity

Visits<b>Allennis44</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:20pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:59pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 2:15am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:16pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:41pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:11am<b>fay32</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:02am<b>blade4080</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 7:30pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:23am<b>Cristian89</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:15pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 4:30am<b>dangerika93</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 9:58pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 5:56pm<b>WiseGuy79</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 7:38pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 7:01pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:45pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 12:25pm

bayleebug316's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of bayleebug316's badges

bayleebug316's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60900) - you deserved it (5550)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

#1124896
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54092) - you deserved it (12576)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was hanging out with some disabled people at the day-centre where I work. We had the music blasting and were laughing and dancing around. My boss took me aside and said that it wasn't really appropriate for me to mock the clients by imitating their dancing. That's just how I dance. FML

#1103682
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61889) - you deserved it (5160)

On 04/18/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80452) - you deserved it (6380)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133092) - you deserved it (9934)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70371) - you deserved it (8981)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53644) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

#888437
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (65133)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a mother wrote me a $130 check for babysitting her four kids for a few hours. Trying to be gracious, I said, "Wow, thank you, this is very generous!" She thought for a minute, then said, "You're right." She took the check back, ripped it up, and wrote me a new one for $55. FML

#699603
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74702) - you deserved it (28324)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

#683803
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65892) - you deserved it (24338)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML

#333597
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55676) - you deserved it (13937)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:32am - work - by Bubbah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called up the boy I like to ask him on a date. He said "Haha, thats a pretty good impression Chris. Next time pick someone less ugly and maybe I'd think this is real." He thought I was his friend prank calling him. FML

#243947
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85483) - you deserved it (4604)

On 03/08/2009 at 5:58pm - love - by Depressed (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61918) - you deserved it (10338)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (46189)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19643) - you deserved it (51328)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: