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barreiroj's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 3:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 11:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
by dating a big bag of dicks / 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm / United States / Animals
Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 3:23pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work
Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML
by nofatchicks / 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML
by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by not gay in AL / 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm / United States / Love
Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML
by ktmla / 05/11/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
by can't eat paper / 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…