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barfcannon

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barfcannon

17Fucked!

barfcannonbarfcannon
  • Town/Country : London, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2283
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About barfcannon : I am into mythology, surrealism, geometry, home décor, winter, animals, yoga and art + art history.

Some of my more mainstream interests are Harry Potter, Family Guy, Adventure Time, Game of Thrones, the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons and freaking sweet puns.

Also I always thought I was a practical sort of person but seeing basically all my interests listed out confirms everyone else's opinions that I'm a huge flaky dreamer.

All my friends moved out of my city after college so I'm in need of more friends in my life so send me a message! I swear I'm not as pretentious as my interests make me sound!

barfcannon's page activity

Visits<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:06pm<b>coaches</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:15pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:10pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:52am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:05am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:48pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:29pm<b>melons</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:28pm<b>Lianess</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:25pm<b>aaroncc</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:56pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:25pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:49pm<b>siham_maghrabia</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>MasterBob</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:02pm<b>f36k</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:59pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:44pm

Fucked!<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:56pm<b>int15</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>cdncw</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:02pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:41am<b>RA91</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:52am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 4:11am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 3:29am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:34am<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 8:10am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:54am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:58pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 1:56pm

barfcannon's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of barfcannon's badges

barfcannon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24868) - you deserved it (3314)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (2445)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

#21421237
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (2903)

On 06/05/2015 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30457) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

#21379555
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (2751)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (3464)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (3351)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (12407)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (11633)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44977) - you deserved it (5864)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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