banman12321

Search for a member

banman12321

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 595
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

banman12321's page activity

Visits<b>schindler12345</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:40pm<b>constipation</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 6:54am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:17am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:17pm<b>FML_TJ</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 4:47am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:17pm

banman12321's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of banman12321's badges

banman12321's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

by bettercallpeta / 02/15/2013 at 12:42am / United States / Animals

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

by Can you say "bandwagon"? / 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

by MissPerspirent / 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm / Canada / Health

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

by QuickieGirl / 09/16/2011 at 7:28am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy