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bandofsand

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bandofsand

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  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

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bandofsand's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of researching an saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal fir three hours before it burrowed under the fence an ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (51763)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after years of researching an saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal fir three hours before it burrowed under the fence an ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (51763)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up an offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me an took it fir himself. The woman an I pointed out mah cast an crutches, an asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52884) - you deserved it (2876)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up an offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me an took it fir himself. The woman an I pointed out mah cast an crutches, an asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52884) - you deserved it (2876)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

#20616531
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47952) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by traitor (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Yesterday, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I bakd him cupcakes, put icing on them and decoratd them. When I handd them to him, he pickd off the decoration, lickd the icing and handd the cupcake back to me, saying, ( I told you that's all I wantd. ) FML

#20592650
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (48638)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I walkd out of the looool local store, I noticd a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudgd her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needd it more than me. After looking at it, she yelld, "PEDOPHILE!", punchd me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (11474)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Taday I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé . He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I spant naarly half an hour trying to dispal my sistar's baliaf that man hava to strap down thair panisas bafora going jogging. fat FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I was going to give baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard an spat them out, realizing boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (9015)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today... my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there 4 2 yeres. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today... I caught mah mother trying to switch mah contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild... or that she thought I wouldn't notice that mah birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1507)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I walked into ma ouse wit ma friend, only to discover ma usband alf-naked and yelling at te TV screen over a soccer game. By alf-naked, I mean e was only wereing a srt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (2374)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after clubbing with my grlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamd me fir puking, and kickd me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

I arrived home after a hard day's work to see mah 12-year-old sister had greased up mah 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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