bandofsand

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bandofsand

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1073
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bandofsand's page activity

Visits<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 1:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:46pm<b>abhi95</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:22pm<b>emmyknd123</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 12:51pm<b>heathbeth</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 4:47pm<b>KeeLady</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 5:29am<b>Lorenzzon</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 6:19pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:44am<b>PrinceofTennis</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 10:45pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:36pm<b>Bold_And_Brash</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:08pm<b>fancyturdhat</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 7:50pm<b>fareith</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 12:52pm<b>larryb1986</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 8:52am<b>JessBassett</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 2:29am<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 10:50pm<b>zahra_786</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 7:50am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 2:50pm

bandofsand's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of bandofsand's badges

bandofsand's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

by a hex upon your anus, sir / 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

by a hex upon your anus, sir / 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML

by traitor / 04/23/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

by Cupcakes / 04/15/2013 at 1:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

by lizzard0416 / 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

by nato / 11/27/2012 at 8:16am / United States / Work

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

by Username / 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

by Med / 11/13/2012 at 7:02am / Netherlands (Groningen) / Love

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids