bandgeek1288

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bandgeek1288

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 251
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bandgeek1288's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

by TheTruthofWomen / 11/04/2013 at 12:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

by Blaphlafagus / 10/31/2013 at 9:16pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

by SharkWeek / 10/27/2013 at 11:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

by Michelle / 10/17/2013 at 7:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

by oink oink... / 10/12/2013 at 9:19am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles / 08/12/2013 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Love