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Offline (the 09/20/2014 at 3:05pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 837
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bananagoat : I love animals.

bananagoat's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:06pm<b>ybloc</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 11:48am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:04am<b>GxReaperGx</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:13am<b>OneNightStander</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:13am<b>FunkMasta</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:28am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 5:44pm<b>crazy080</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 8:49pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:42am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:34am

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bananagoat's favorite FMLs

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

by richard / 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

by Unfortunately Me / 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

by Broon / 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

by JurassicHole / 04/21/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Health

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

by Hoggiebear / 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2010 at 1:37am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

by Liam. / 02/01/2010 at 12:15am / Love