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Offline (the 01/21/2014 at 7:52am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6383
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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banana2022's page activity

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banana2022's FML badges

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banana2022's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

by Ouch / 05/20/2012 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

by Emoney1 / 05/26/2011 at 10:06am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was walking home, I noticed an elderly man in a wheel chair trying to paint his garage so I went over to help. His response was verbal abuse and a slap to the face with a wet paint brush. FML

by Adam / 05/24/2011 at 1:54am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

by uetlqdja / 05/21/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I got married. My sister and father could not attend because they already had plans. My sister went to the mall with her friends, and my dad went to a pool party. FML

by disfunctionalfamily / 04/27/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

by Chad / 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm / United States / Money

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

by inalotofpain / 04/16/2011 at 8:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous