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badluckdawson's favorite FMLs
Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML
by HenryRollinsForPresident / 09/25/2012 at 7:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML
by PollingLow / 05/10/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by flustered / 05/06/2012 at 10:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids
Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
by fmlsrslyahhh / 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
by skippy_liz / 10/26/2010 at 3:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by finalssuck / 05/21/2010 at 11:01am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Delilah / 03/01/2010 at 3:53am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Love
Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML
by anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 2:23pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…