badjujitsu

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/21/2014 at 11:04pm)

badjujitsu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5199
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About badjujitsu : aikido jiujitsu and mr fixit

badjujitsu's page activity

Visits<b>PostMortem</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:28am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:29am<b>frenchygirl95</b> - the 01/29/2013 at 11:23am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 4:15pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 09/29/2012 at 1:51pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/27/2012 at 1:05am<b>izwizzz</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 2:53pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:26pm<b>Brittni_97</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 7:36pm<b>BlackBelt4Me</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 11:43pm<b>LittleMexico</b> - the 07/06/2011 at 12:01am<b>smartalek</b> - the 06/16/2011 at 12:05am<b>nchotgal</b> - the 03/02/2011 at 1:24pm<b>ObWanCanBlowME</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 5:01pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 02/26/2011 at 3:25pm<b>Gubiithefish</b> - the 02/24/2011 at 5:45pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/10/2011 at 12:21am

badjujitsu's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of badjujitsu's badges

badjujitsu's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

by buxton1 / 02/18/2013 at 3:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

by mhmm... cumsquats / 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

by Ari / 01/16/2013 at 1:36am / Health

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

by no sleep for me / 01/08/2013 at 2:44am / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

by valnaj1 / 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Intimacy

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

by Jane / 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

by ghost? / 12/16/2012 at 3:31am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 9:53am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

by Matt8 / 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

by Chuffy / 12/01/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love