This member hasn't filled in their description.
babylancer's FML badges
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
babylancer's favorite FMLs
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by NoBikesForYou / 09/26/2013 at 6:56pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Kids
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy
by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
by sopheeah / 05/29/2012 at 3:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML
by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…