About babyismail : Thanks for visiting my profile I am highly appreciative of your proactiveness. And Yes I am one of the types of individuals that enjoy using high vocabulary so screw me.
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babyismail's favorite FMLs
by bubblegum92 / 06/29/2013 at 4:02am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by damniphone / 06/29/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous
by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love
Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML
by Trillian87 / 06/28/2013 at 6:28am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm / United States / Health
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML
by vbecka / 06/26/2013 at 1:08pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous
Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 2:57am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was playing a video game with my girlfriend, and it started getting really hard, so within… Today, I was driving around on a backroad with my boyfriend and I managed to get my car stuck. Now… Today, I was starting to jack off with what I thought was lotion. Not long after did I realize that…