About babyismail : Thanks for visiting my profile I am highly appreciative of your proactiveness. And Yes I am one of the types of individuals that enjoy using high vocabulary so screw me.
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babyismail's favorite FMLs
Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML
by thanks, Nemo. / 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by yayme. / 07/11/2013 at 6:26pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, a coworker complimented me on losing weight, and said that she wished she could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the only reason I've lost weight is because I haven't been able to afford to eat. FML
by shouldbehappyiguess / 07/11/2013 at 2:20am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML
by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML
by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by thecathater / 07/09/2013 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML
by Aggressive / 07/09/2013 at 4:54am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Animals
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by NathanA / 07/08/2013 at 7:54pm / United States (California) / Work
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML
by awwimanahole / 07/04/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…