babyismail

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babyismail

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3664
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About babyismail : Thanks for visiting my profile I am highly appreciative of your proactiveness. And Yes I am one of the types of individuals that enjoy using high vocabulary so screw me.

babyismail's page activity

Visits<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:24am<b>tranced_</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:56am<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 10:43am<b>Black_Rose97</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:45pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 9:14pm<b>revolution4ever</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 4:37am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:05am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 6:17pm<b>APPLEZACKS</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 6:07pm<b>thebomber34</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:20pm<b>TaraMoon</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 2:38pm<b>rob02</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 10:52am<b>damianw97</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:51pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:05pm<b>crisanba</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 4:19am<b>reaganprep</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 1:40am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:31pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 8:53pm

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babyismail's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

by booger / 07/18/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 7:56am / United States / Animals

Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML

by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray / 07/17/2013 at 6:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

by :-( / 07/17/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I told the guy I liked about my crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

by hannahisacooler / 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

by .__. / 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

by Orchard / 07/16/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

by ScenicSubterfuge / 07/16/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous