About baby4mommy : My name is Jamie. My cat Sparkle and I share an apartment just across the river from NYC. In college I studied fine art with an emphasis on oil painting, illustration and a minor in art history. I had a successful career and business until a visit to the ER left me in a coma for 21 weeks. I woke up paralyzed ... unable to even turn my head. After a lengthy recovery at St. Charles and Kessler Institutes I learned how to breathe again without a machine. I also recovered some feeling (about 35%) from above the elbows and upwards. With no feeling below the elbows I am still technically a quadriplegic or partial quad so resuming my art career is still off the table for now. I am highly optimistic about employment as a human doorstop or paperweight.
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baby4mommy's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML
by oreosaretoocool / 12/05/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
by drugdealersgf / 12/02/2016 at 1:55am / Love
Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all the post and gifts they have been sending her. For a special birthday / Christmas, I'd splurged on an expensive, interactive mystery game where you are mailed clues over the course of 6 months. FML
by BrokeStudentTryingToDoSomethingNice / 12/02/2016 at 1:31am / Holidays
by HR nightmare / 12/02/2016 at 12:20am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both whispered, "Sorry." Our teacher promptly gave us detention and a 0% on the test for talking. Sorry for being sorry? FML
by Sorry? / 12/01/2016 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by BohGlam / 12/01/2016 at 3:30pm / Work
Today, I wrote a bad review for a pizza place after their pizza gave me food poisoning. Now, they won't stop calling me, begging me to take my review down in exchange for free pizza. I have tried to tell them that I wouldn't eat their pizza again even if I got paid to do so, but they won't listen. FML
Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML
Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML
by anonymous / 12/01/2016 at 11:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by crash and burn / 12/01/2016 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Money
Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of an unresolved issue, the dealership mistakenly reported the rental vehicle I'm using in the meantime as stolen. The police surrounded my work as I was meeting with a potential client. FML
by GTA_VI / 11/30/2016 at 8:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML
by heaventlyassbutt / 11/30/2016 at 7:45am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML
by purpletrout / 11/30/2016 at 1:39am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…