About baby4mommy : My name is Jamie. My cat Sparkle and I share an apartment just across the river from NYC. In college I studied fine art with an emphasis on oil painting, illustration and a minor in art history. I had a successful career and business until a visit to the ER left me in a coma for 21 weeks. I woke up paralyzed ... unable to even turn my head. After a lengthy recovery at St. Charles and Kessler Institutes I learned how to breathe again without a machine. I also recovered some feeling (about 35%) from above the elbows and upwards. With no feeling below the elbows I am still technically a quadriplegic or partial quad so resuming my art career is still off the table for now. I am highly optimistic about employment as a human doorstop or paperweight.
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baby4mommy's favorite FMLs
by just-a-fat-cat / 05/02/2016 at 11:25pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, I returned home after a long day of work. I noticed that my kitten had gotten a hold of my pin cushion, and that there were no needles left in it. My husband and I have only managed to find one, out of 16. FML
by UnknownKitten / 05/02/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/02/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the sensation to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML
by Pee.H.D / 05/02/2016 at 1:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Pupluv183 / 05/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
by Incompetent / 05/02/2016 at 8:27am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work
Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
by send the army please / 05/02/2016 at 2:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by aianmoo16 / 05/01/2016 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by longing for emancipation / 04/29/2016 at 11:09pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no-one. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, a learner driver was practicing maneuvers in the parking lot at work. This happens a lot, and my colleagues and I usually have fun watching and laughing. It was all fun and games as usual, until the learner crashed into my car. FML
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…