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babe7260's favorite FMLs
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by thanxguys / 03/17/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML
by Betty / 03/17/2010 at 2:26pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML
by shouldabeenapornstar / 03/17/2010 at 11:46am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 11:38am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of more than two years told me in front of all of our friends that he'd trade me for some Playstation 3 games. I laughed it off because I thought he was kidding. He made it clear that he was serious. FML
by Girl / 03/17/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML
by Loser / 03/17/2010 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
by slickboy0023 / 03/16/2010 at 11:30am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML
by allwrong / 03/16/2010 at 6:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/15/2010 at 10:05am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend offered to give me a piggyback ride from the house to the car as means of avoiding walking in mud. Both aware of how tall he is, he crouched extra low and I jumped extra hard. This makes for a terrible example of leapfrog, and a faceplant in the mud. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML
by grann / 03/14/2010 at 9:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in… Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during… Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and…