About bReLiNg : I'm just a leftie trying to understand this right world....
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bReLiNg's favorite FMLs
by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
by Justawoman / 06/04/2014 at 11:52am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
by anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm / United States / Health
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by pixkalexi / 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by sprainedankle / 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Health
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
- Today, my anxiety is so bad I'm afraid to leave the house despite an important appointment because… Today, my husband and I had our third marriage counseling session. The only reason I was going was… Today, my mother surprised our family by playing a clip of my ex singing a song he wrote. She tells…