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azzaj

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azzaj
  • Town/Country : Adelaide, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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azzaj's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54395) - you deserved it (3073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6115) - you deserved it (54576)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

#13509015
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (13841)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (4922)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

#13375459
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (6152)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I arrived at the airport for my international flight there was no record of my ticket in the system. Turns out the flight was yesterday. FML

#13372980
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9111) - you deserved it (26828)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by theleague (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (3988)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7401) - you deserved it (40735)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7401) - you deserved it (40735)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16549) - you deserved it (40058)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (11005)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6555) - you deserved it (26916)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (11130)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266625) - you deserved it (23311)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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