awkward_gothlady

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/26/2014 at 9:19pm)

awkward_gothlady

2Fucked!

awkward_gothladyawkward_gothlady
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3341
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About awkward_gothlady : Creative. Eccentric. Shy. Fun. Cat person. Crazy.

awkward_gothlady's page activity

Visits<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/19/2016 at 12:47am<b>xxdlp3000xdd</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 12:22am<b>kmdoshi8</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:43pm<b>28actress</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 1:31am<b>rjc490</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:29am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:58pm<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 1:29am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:49am<b>combatsurf</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 7:23pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:25am<b>CoreyMan01</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:21am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:44am<b>IamAngryCoffee</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:20am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 3:04pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:18pm<b>ThuNDeY</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:08am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:08pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:03pm

awkward_gothlady's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of awkward_gothlady's badges

awkward_gothlady's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

by dogdays / 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway / 12/17/2013 at 10:38am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

by NoorFML / 09/13/2013 at 9:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

by Rapunzel1974 / 09/01/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

by outthelabyrynth / 08/27/2013 at 10:46am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

by Suunflower_14 / 08/26/2013 at 5:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work