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awesomeo96

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awesomeo96
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  • Number of visits : 833
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (3027)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

#13857335
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27454) - you deserved it (4499)

On 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

#13842937
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16911) - you deserved it (2385)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25297) - you deserved it (11261)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39761) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (4934)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (2720)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44702) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

#13357555
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (28377)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34905) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (8902)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

#12969357
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (4915)

On 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm - health - by Chester (Seattle) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (2007)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)



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