awesomeo96

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awesomeo96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2619
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:06am<b>hawkslax25</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:29pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 2:44pm<b>TiroC</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:58am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:48am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>mortem</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:00pm

awesomeo96's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 9:02pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I text messaged my mom from Afghanistan to let her know everything was okay. She responded, telling me not to message her so much because "the price of text messages really adds up." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 5:26pm / Money

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

by treats / 11/02/2010 at 3:13am / Singapore / Animals

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

by mrtut / 10/29/2010 at 8:17am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 12:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

by fmmlll / 10/18/2010 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

by Chester (Seattle) / 09/08/2010 at 10:15pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

by bustedfornuthin / 09/08/2010 at 12:42am / United States (New Mexico) / Transportation

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

by drew / 09/07/2010 at 1:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous