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awesomeo96

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awesomeo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38539) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (2917)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (49161)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (3698)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

#17612364
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (5287)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (7515)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16990) - you deserved it (47878)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39028) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

#17311021
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (5844)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (14936)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It will be good for her." FML

#17247420
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (2175)

On 07/24/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by allycat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37150) - you deserved it (2629)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35162) - you deserved it (3908)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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