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  • Number of visits : 2916
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 7:06am<b>hawkslax25</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:29pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 2:44pm<b>TiroC</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 11:58am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 10:48am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:36pm<b>mortem</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:00pm

awesomeo96's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

by anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm / Australia / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

by pimpslaprequired / 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

by daniella101 / 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

by cunting cunts / 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation