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awesomeo96

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awesomeo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 845
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (6534)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2208)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (6654)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

#20004612
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26049) - you deserved it (1857)

On 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by kklaucen14 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with him, and I responded that we could do another kind of workout upstairs. He quickly said he'd rather just go to the gym. FML

#20000076
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18864) - you deserved it (3870)

On 08/03/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by rejected4555 (woman) - United States

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (1540)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (1863)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (2082)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22000) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (5500)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17620)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (1869)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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