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awesomeo96

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awesomeo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 841
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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awesomeo96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (3995)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (14471)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

#20045592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML

#20037577
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (28525)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Rotarius (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

#20037281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5311) - you deserved it (65291)

On 08/23/2012 at 9:42am - misc - by TheBeautifulOne (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22720) - you deserved it (1939)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML



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