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avoriginiess

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avoriginiess

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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avoriginiess's page activity

Visits<b>g9m9brown</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Queensland</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 6:41am

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avoriginiess's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
98 comments

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30395) - you deserved it (4164)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (2400)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30214) - you deserved it (2782)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (1953)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (2232)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27295) - you deserved it (3226)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29917) - you deserved it (3539)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (7853)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

#21371044
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (3040)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:15am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (8233)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (3102)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33156) - you deserved it (6080)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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