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austinmars

Offline (the 03/01/2015 at 4:54am) | Search for a member

austinmars

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  • Number of visits : 656
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>thecalvin123</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:38am<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:54pm<b>JimmyHasNoHands</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:33am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:33pm

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austinmars's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend 4 the first time in over a month . When I came, I thrust one last time an let out a huge fart . She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, an now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart" . FML

#21329462
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (6811)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML

#21132433
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML

#21132433
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML

#21132433
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML

#21132433
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (8532)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Yesterday, after finishing a two hour essay exam that will determine the future of mah career, I realizd I misread the question. FML

#21132154
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47685) - you deserved it (12012)

On 05/06/2014 at 5:11am - misc - by IBS (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today , I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft , relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot , an it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleand to the sound of bullets going off. mega FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39726) - you deserved it (4362)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

I startad going on and on about dogs and thara diffarant typas of braad, bahaviours, axpactancy, atc. Whan somaona askad ma how I know all this stuff, I maant to say, "I fucking lova animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I lova fucking animals". FML

#21131182
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (22238)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today I Once Again Had To Tell One Of My Elderly Patients Not To Grope Me. He Responded By Throwing His Bedpan At Me. It Was Full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (3666)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I askd the grl I lyk if she had her eye on anyone , subtly hinting that I wantd to date her . I sat there while she confessd her love 4 her cousin . FML

#21130812
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (5644)

On 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm - love - by Wowthanks - United States (Colorado)

Today , I met up with my group fir class. We were doing some final checks on the project we've been working on all semester , when I realized something about one guy's work seemed off. I googled it and found out it's almost completely plagiarized. It's all due in the morning. FML

#21130579
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41452) - you deserved it (3740)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was glud to the toilet all day , gushing fountains of crap , due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41360) - you deserved it (10525)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my art teacer sowed off a painting of is name e got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to im. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (4743)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to te store because is car is in te sop. I was well witin te speed limit, but e kept yelling at me 4 "speeding", ten accused me of trying to give im a eart attack, an eventually pulled te e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML

#21129670
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45468) - you deserved it (3561)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My grlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swear I yelled out another grl's name. She consider this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. mega FML

#21129594
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (4911)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by wtf - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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