About aussilynn3312 : Descriptions are for squares. But I do like animals.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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aussilynn3312's favorite FMLs
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by anon / 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health
by FMLkoala / 03/03/2014 at 2:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by ouch / 03/02/2014 at 3:44am / United States (Iowa) / Love
by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
by even axe would smell better / 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love
by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by oh / 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…