Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aurorarory

Search for a member

aurorarory
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

aurorarory's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

aurorarory's favorite FMLs

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (17644)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27113) - you deserved it (39692)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57500) - you deserved it (19402)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40569) - you deserved it (15294)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45309) - you deserved it (22605)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16545) - you deserved it (53606)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (6348)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

#20509476
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10627) - you deserved it (38791)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (2608)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

#18756866
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (3537)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by mortifiedgrandchild - United States (Florida)

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

#18579452
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (29399)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm - health - by justnance - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: