About audreys510 : I'm Audrey. I'm 18, a senior in college...I'm a mathematics major, computer programming minor. I also have a passion for makeup. I work as a research assistant in an economics research lab.
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audreys510's favorite FMLs
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work
by Forge / 10/11/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by jewelthewat / 09/19/2014 at 8:52am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Transportation
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek
by Anonymous / 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
by ifeelfat / 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML
by 404: sense not found / 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML
by cassie611 / 03/13/2014 at 2:26pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, after running across London to catch my train, I collapsed, panting, into a seat across from a concerned elderly woman. She leaned over to ask whether I had my inhaler and I smiled and nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm not asthmatic, just really unfit. FML
by alipallie / 03/09/2014 at 8:36pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Health
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
by Dsark / 02/19/2014 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
- Today, I farted in front of my girlfriend of eight months for the first time. She got up from bed… Today, I drove my girlfriend to take her on the first date out of the house we've had since she got… Today, I forgot my headphones at home, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to be in the third…