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au8r3yr0ss1

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au8r3yr0ss1

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  • Number of visits : 4170
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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au8r3yr0ss1's page activity

Visits<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 9:18pm

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au8r3yr0ss1's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100347) - you deserved it (20051)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (506738) - you deserved it (48638)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61747) - you deserved it (3808)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (40110)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
1004 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79686) - you deserved it (449755)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13715) - you deserved it (49137)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (49318)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

#10022
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9223) - you deserved it (43763)

On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (6165)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (72108)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States



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