Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

au8r3yr0ss1

Search for a member

au8r3yr0ss1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3556
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

au8r3yr0ss1's last visitors

au8r3yr0ss1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

au8r3yr0ss1's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92087) - you deserved it (17902)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my physics teacher asked who had implants. I raised my hand. Then he asked me to show him the implants. Shocked at his request I called him a perv. I later discovered he meant dental implants as he was teaching x rays not breast implants. FML

#232961
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (105298)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by Noname - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (452583) - you deserved it (32027)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (3265)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (34314)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67015) - you deserved it (403817)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food and see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed my buddy's arm and told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML

#141211
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11369) - you deserved it (44035)

On 02/26/2009 at 3:07am - work - by bluecollar (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (38270)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

#10022
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (38880)

On 02/05/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Kevin (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (5374)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14821) - you deserved it (65982)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: