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asylumlane

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

asylumlane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asylumlane : Quiet, honest, no time to pretend.

asylumlane's page activity

Visits<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:54am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:09pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:44am<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:12am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twye</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:11am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>tactfulmommy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bogglebeck</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:03pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:39am<b>rolso</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:31am

asylumlane's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of asylumlane's badges

asylumlane's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (1141)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML

#21460168
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (1528)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Liguria)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (35470)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

#21455715
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24286) - you deserved it (2434)

On 08/13/2015 at 7:50pm - kids - by stressedmom36 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2223)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (2830)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28610) - you deserved it (2121)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML

#21450453
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (1896)

On 08/01/2015 at 1:17pm - misc - by Son of a Bitch - United States

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26587) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (1621)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (2277)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24694) - you deserved it (2855)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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