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asylumlane

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asylumlane

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 913
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About asylumlane : Quiet, honest, no time to pretend.

asylumlane's page activity

Visits<b>britbear0731</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:41am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:49am<b>Loomunati</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:54am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 5:09pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:44am<b>pgmonster</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:12am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:44pm<b>twye</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 7:11am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Compgeek1996</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:45pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:44am<b>tactfulmommy</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 4:06pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:57pm<b>bogglebeck</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 3:03pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:39am

asylumlane's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of asylumlane's badges

asylumlane's favorite FMLs

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

#21523579
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (534)

On 02/07/2016 at 1:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (1939)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (1720)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

#21519206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (1815)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

#21517961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (2022)

On 01/21/2016 at 9:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at 26, I got chicken pox. My parents stand by their belief that I got it because I'm not right with God, not because they didn't vaccinate me. FML

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

#21510846
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (1330)

On 01/03/2016 at 12:52am - health - by itchyyet - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

#21510172
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (1422)

On 01/01/2016 at 11:23am - misc - by Mewsmash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to do my assistant manager's job because she doesn't know what the hell she is doing. I'd interviewed for this position but didn't get it because I'm "still too new for this position." FML

#21509364
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (1230)

On 12/30/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by cnd1213 - United States

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

#21508974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (1705)

On 12/29/2015 at 4:49am - misc - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

#21507746
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (1415)

On 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm - money - by swimmonster81 -

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

#21506788
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/23/2015 at 2:45am - money - by JunkDex (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

#21504691
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (2119)

On 12/17/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by NotSoComfortable (man) - Italy (Veneto)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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