Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 906
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About assassinbanana0 : german🇩🇪
cat lady🐈
mobster fanatic🔫
gamer geek🎮

assassinbanana0's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 13 hours ago<b>the_aspect</b> - 21 hours ago<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - yesterday at 3:15am<b>winniethebitch</b> - yesterday at 6:54pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - yesterday at 4:51pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:05am<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:32am<b>dustydick</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:15am<b>JasonBBold</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:04am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:28am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:29pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:44pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:34am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:34am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:31am<b>archnarquibquib</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:01am<b>Markovski</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:51am<b>AscendV</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:23am

Fucked!<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:28pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:10pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:34pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:54am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:25pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:49am<b>3051628</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 1:29pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 5:41pm<b>Lee_Mimbs</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:17am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:01pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:50pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:39am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:10pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:19am<b>robertd73</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:56am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:40am<b>hammonds92</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:12am

assassinbanana0's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of assassinbanana0's badges

assassinbanana0's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (2903)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37001) - you deserved it (2077)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (2522)

On 03/22/2015 at 3:51pm - health - by uhoh.. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32057) - you deserved it (43)

On 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by Fred - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a phone with most of my female contacts missing. I think I'm dating a psycho. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (4551)

On 02/20/2015 at 8:35am - love - by FunGhoost - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48608) - you deserved it (6228)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:53am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: