About asleepingbear : I dont know
asleepingbear's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
asleepingbear's favorite FMLs
by me / 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
by anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML
by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by lifesucks0925 / 09/06/2013 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Work
by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Nogood / 03/10/2013 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML
by Ughh! / 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
by Bella / 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried… Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after… Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been…