ask62589

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ask62589

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1253
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ask62589's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 03/11/2010 at 9:35pm<b>Hockeymaniac</b> - the 10/25/2009 at 4:31pm<b>lame9379</b> - the 07/23/2009 at 11:12pm<b>terrta_merrta</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 6:50am

ask62589's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ask62589's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

by lady_jeni / 07/09/2009 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

by Fattypatty / 07/09/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

by onething / 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2009 at 1:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

by ILuvYouSoldiers / 06/26/2009 at 3:57am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML

by feelinblue / 06/23/2009 at 7:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML

by fml / 06/22/2009 at 5:03am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

by Crunchy / 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:30am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy