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asdfghjklana
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2523
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About asdfghjklana : Hi, I'm Alana and have no life whatsoever

asdfghjklana's last visitors

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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asdfghjklana's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (4250)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51971) - you deserved it (6863)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (7376)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47758) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51171) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (5016)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54054) - you deserved it (4167)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63133) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML

#20982484
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39930) - you deserved it (15210)

On 12/06/2013 at 2:08am - money - by butterfingers - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39458) - you deserved it (6651)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)



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