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asargent

Offline (the 06/19/2015 at 8:26am) | Search for a member

asargent

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 May 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1449
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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asargent's page activity

Visits<b>watermelon1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:00am<b>cat4651</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>Aliakatherin</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:52pm<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MoonMoon522</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:48pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:39am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:14am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Si123</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:27pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:56am<b>SUPERsassy11783</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:09am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:48am<b>jessicalkelly</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:10pm<b>kabza</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:39am<b>WarriorBl00d</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:00am<b>hey_brittany_</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:18am<b>zachali21</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:14am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:17pm

asargent's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of asargent's badges

asargent's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

#21410667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30636) - you deserved it (2007)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27180) - you deserved it (19821)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (5645)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32754) - you deserved it (2403)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

#21373611
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35683) - you deserved it (2832)

On 03/13/2015 at 2:21am - work - by hard work doesn't work - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (36228)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (6082)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35009) - you deserved it (3332)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37944) - you deserved it (4573)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2753)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

#21327341
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (4579)

On 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm - health - by insomniacap (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)



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