asargent

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Offline (the 09/30/2015 at 3:04pm)

asargent

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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asargent's page activity

Visits<b>bagelbaron</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 5:24pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 7:34pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 5:50pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:09pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:00am<b>cat4651</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>Aliakatherin</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:52pm<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:47pm<b>MoonMoon522</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:48pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:39am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:14am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Stephanie001_</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Si123</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:27pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:56am<b>SUPERsassy11783</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:09am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:48am<b>jessicalkelly</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:10pm

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 1:34am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:14am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 10:17pm

asargent's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of asargent's badges

asargent's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2015 at 11:23am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I am too good to be promoted. FML

by hard work doesn't work / 03/13/2015 at 2:21am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

by DreamsDontComeTrue / 02/05/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

by fxck / 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm / Work

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by Grrrreat / 02/04/2015 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

by okseñoryoucrazy / 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

by dogproblems / 01/27/2015 at 10:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, three weeks after my sister took in a wounded porcupine from our backyard and let it roam about the house, I learned that it sheds quills from time to time. How did I learn this? By stepping on three of said quills hidden in the carpet. I still have only managed to pull one out. FML

Today, I am struggling with exhaustion due to insomnia. The reason I cannot sleep is crippling anxiety - not about my complicated romantic situation, my pileup of work, or even my relationship with my father. No, I'm afraid of a blind ship captain I saw in a dream three days ago. FML

by insomniacap / 12/30/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

by drreeeewwww / 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals